Monday, July 10, 2006
Child Discipline - The Difference Between Discipline and Punishment
Child Discipline is the cornerstone of creating a happy, healthy home, but most parents don't know the difference between discipline and punishment. What is discipline and how does it differ from punishment?
First, let's take a look at punishment because this is what most parents use at home. Punishment involves blaming, shaming, screaming, spanking, slapping, ranting and raving in order to make a child compliant. Although these techniques may temporarily stop a child in his tracks, they do not teach him how to make good choices, feel good about himself or grow into a moral human being.
On the other hand, child discipline is about guiding a child to make healthy choices on his own. Such techniques teach a child to feel good about himself. A child who feels good about himself has consideration for others. This leads to compassion which is the compass of a moral human being.
Following are some helpful child discipline tips for parents:
Remember that discipline takes time, thought, love, compassion and creativity. When your child acts in ways that are inappropriate or mean-spirited, take a deep breath. Remind yourself that old techniques such as blame, shame and punishment do not produce human beings who care about how others feel or think.
Remind yourself that discipline is about teaching. Children do not come into the world, knowing how to get along with others or behave appropriately. In order to learn these skills, children must be taught by caring adults who lead by example
and take the time to guide them.
When a child makes a poor choice, talk about it. Help him recognize how his choices lead to certain consequences. Assist him in coming up with different choices that are respectful of others' feelings and limits and lead to better outcomes for all
involved.
Teach conflict resolution skills. In my home, we employ techniques that are simple and effective. Nothing is more satisfying than hearing your children use these techniques on their own in the midst of a conflict. Conflict resolution skills
teach children how to listen with an open heart and mind and develop compassion and tolerance. Such skills lead to growing sense of diplomacy which your child will practice as an adult.
Help your child discover his strengths. A child who feels good about who he is naturally treats others with respect. Such a child is strong in his identity and does not need to feel powerful by demeaning or irritating others. This is the gift of raising a child with disciplineseeing him act in ways which value the self and others.
It takes time and effort to teach your child discipline, but doing so has great benefits for child and parent. Take the time to teach, rather than blame, punish or humiliate and you will raise a child who acts from his values and makes life-affirming choices on his own.
Child Discipline is the cornerstone of creating a happy, healthy home, but most parents don't know the difference between discipline and punishment. What is discipline and how does it differ from punishment?
First, let's take a look at punishment because this is what most parents use at home. Punishment involves blaming, shaming, screaming, spanking, slapping, ranting and raving in order to make a child compliant. Although these techniques may temporarily stop a child in his tracks, they do not teach him how to make good choices, feel good about himself or grow into a moral human being.
On the other hand, child discipline is about guiding a child to make healthy choices on his own. Such techniques teach a child to feel good about himself. A child who feels good about himself has consideration for others. This leads to compassion which is the compass of a moral human being.
Following are some helpful child discipline tips for parents:
Remember that discipline takes time, thought, love, compassion and creativity. When your child acts in ways that are inappropriate or mean-spirited, take a deep breath. Remind yourself that old techniques such as blame, shame and punishment do not produce human beings who care about how others feel or think.
Remind yourself that discipline is about teaching. Children do not come into the world, knowing how to get along with others or behave appropriately. In order to learn these skills, children must be taught by caring adults who lead by example
and take the time to guide them.
When a child makes a poor choice, talk about it. Help him recognize how his choices lead to certain consequences. Assist him in coming up with different choices that are respectful of others' feelings and limits and lead to better outcomes for all
involved.
Teach conflict resolution skills. In my home, we employ techniques that are simple and effective. Nothing is more satisfying than hearing your children use these techniques on their own in the midst of a conflict. Conflict resolution skills
teach children how to listen with an open heart and mind and develop compassion and tolerance. Such skills lead to growing sense of diplomacy which your child will practice as an adult.
Help your child discover his strengths. A child who feels good about who he is naturally treats others with respect. Such a child is strong in his identity and does not need to feel powerful by demeaning or irritating others. This is the gift of raising a child with disciplineseeing him act in ways which value the self and others.
It takes time and effort to teach your child discipline, but doing so has great benefits for child and parent. Take the time to teach, rather than blame, punish or humiliate and you will raise a child who acts from his values and makes life-affirming choices on his own.
